Friday, June 19, 2009

Feeling Great

I have been surprised, in awe, thrilled, excited, joyful, saddened and knock to my knees in phrase two while showing up and embracing the now moment.
Last Friday I began my first chemo treatment my sister Paula supported me with her laughter and big heart. I decided to have my pictures taken beginning with the first treatment and will continue until my last treatment which will be November 6th, 2009.

The day before the day of and the day after chemo infusion treatments I take Steroids (Staroids) for the sole purpose of inflammation and the intensity of the chemo drugs. Steroids are given to people with severe cases of rheumatoid Arthritis for inflammation which I did not know until my sister Susan explained all of this to me, yes it is pay off. Well, in my case Saturday morning I woke up feeling like myself which has been close to 2 months wow I was rocking and ready to jam to Tina Turner, mow my lawn and even go out dancing in the evening and then I remembered what the nurse told me in chemo teaching. Lisa do not over it because this is the result of being on steroids for 3 days. So needless to say I was a model patient hmmmm. I take oral chemo drugs the day of the infusion for 14 days and then will be off of all chemo drugs for 7 days and begin the whole process over again.

Sunday I had to put down my kitty Missy which was more difficult than I had realized. She began leaving me presents and no matter what I did from Reiki to EFT for animals it didn't work. Sambo was distraught as well, KiKi on the hand was rather thrilled to now be the only female in the house I guess I don't count.Today Sambo is back to his normal little man ways he's the King.

Monday I was knocked to my knees what I had in mind for the day truly flew by me in a New York minute. It was a good day to pull the covers over my head which I did on and off. Did experience feel good moments in that 24hr period yes I did and it was way cool.

Tuesday I had my post opt surgery appointment all is well with my Port. Experimenting different sleeping since I love my sleep. I also got fitted for my hair Tuesday afternoon and even though my body was still experiencing some effects it was so much fun. Jennifer at Strands here in Colorado Springs I highly recommend even if you just want to try a new look. Once I was fitted for my hair we play with different style dews just for fun. OMG it was like I was able to put a face to some of my aspects we rocked perhaps I will post those at a later date.

Wednesday I got up ready for the day with the intention of working in my office,
making phone calls, perhaps even working out. Well once again it was all about surrendering and just showing up. My internal pipes decided to take the day off how rude, well to make a long story short I now have such a deep compassion for people who experience this as well. If you have ever given birth than you know how intense a contraction can feel my body had a few that evening before I felt the stillness.
While sitting out in my backyard before the contractions began I had the most incredible experience. I looked up in the sky and there floating sporadically several
brilliant pink orbs glistening my heart opened and expanded in such a big words only seem to diminish the experience, this lasted a little over 60 seconds. It was the Light Beings, my Star Family and of course the Angels making they presence known to me. I don't think I could have asked for anything better than that about how much I am supported and loved.

Thursday I rocked I was able to write my story for the day and everything I experienced was just how I wrote out in the morning. I did my sit ups yoga stretches and even lifted some weights. Worked in my office for awhile and was able to get alot accomplished in a short period of time. I took myself out to lunch at Smiley a restaurant in downtown Colorado Springs they have such delicious food. I sat outside and enjoyed the sunshine and blue skies it was beautiful. After lunch I had fun purchasing art supplies and canvases from there I dropped off Egyptian Cream at my Mom's. I spent an hour in Safeway a little off and that's OK I got job done. The bonus I cooked dinner for myself grilled red bird chicken it was delicious.

This morning I jammed to Tina Turner it felt so good. 30 minutes of speed walking climbing up mountains held off on the running though you know I didn't want to over due it.

My evenings with Marilyn continue, and last night a baby Hawk showed up in my backyard while we were on the phone another sign how cool is that.

I have incorporated ary-on in my daily regime for my nose as of yesterday, its all good. This is truly an education in itself and I continue to learn and discover so much. I now have a point of reference for my future treatments as far as preparation is concerned how cool is that.

I want to share the Egyptian Magic with you it is a multipurpose Skin and Hair Cream which I have found quite beneficial for my lips, face, hands and feet. All natural ingredients. Olive oil, bees wax, honey, bee pollen, royal jelly and bee propolis. My friends Daniel and Cindy Nichols sell this magical product. For more information visit their website

The Radiant Healing Template has been so powerful for me and Saturday morning I got the hit to offer it to all of you on your healing journey as my gift to you. I have created a pdf. file which you can download and print out. It is highly charged and energized and will continue to be for you on your journey. Send me an email subject healing

Hopefully you did not fall a sleep during the read
I appreciate everyone one of you
Smiles and Sunshine
Your Primal Nature CD by Caroline Myss
Rituals of Healing (using imagery for health and wellnes) by Jeanne Achterberg Ph.D Barbara Dossey, RN,MS,FAAN, Leslie Kolkmeir RN MEd
The Journey by Brandon Bays
Breast Cancer Specialists at Memorial Hospital

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Phrase Two I'm Showing Up

I closed the chapter on phrase One effective Sunday evening with a successful 2 day show in Woodland Park. I had met one of the founders of "Satiama" an online international gallery as well as a place of spirituality enhancing Life's Journey. Wow this a gift from Spirit as I was just asking for someone to take over my print section and it happened on Saturday afternoon as Karen one of the founders was looking for another artist. She shared her story of her passion she and her sister had and the beginning of Satiama, the feeling was incredible words only discount it.

Although I had an unexpected visit to an ENT Specialist last Wednesday due to a discrepancy showing up in my left nasal pharnyx on the PETS/CT Scan all is well and I was given the go to proceed with chemo.
Phrase 2 began Monday morning with the Port surgery and another biospy for the clinical study. Once again I was so grateful for the incredible care and attention to detail I experienced before during and after surgery. I thanked Dr. P. for the successful surgery prior to me going under since I probably would not see her again until my follow up appointment which is scheduled for next Tuesday.

Yesterday morning I had a bit of a scare with my body going into shock and convulsing as I lay on my bedroom floor. A big wake up call for healing being my main focus and my body getting use to the Port a foreign object.The stress of cancer has a way of doing that and I did not realize my body was under the amount of stress, so my body spoke to me loud and clear. The paramedics came and my vitals were stable enough,since the last place I wanted to be was the hospital. Again it is
big sign of all the love and support I have in every moment.

Today is much better as I am really taking it easy for me hmmmmmm. Chemo treatments begin tomorrow for 24 weeks with my last treatment on November 6Th, 2009 it is already marked on my calender focusing on the end result and honoring the process even when I am not sure what that means I just show up and say yes to healing. The good news it will be just over 5 months how cool is that and a little down time before my surgery. So if I have not responded to you in my usual manner with emails posts, phones calls now you know the reason. I feel much better having another set of steps a game plan for phrase two and will continue to shine in my melt down flaming moments.

This is quite an education process to say the least from knowing the exact supplement to take and not to take during chemo. Alot of my supplements I was taking no longer apply and defeat the purpose of chemo so new supplements and vitamin's are being implemented. Yikes this was big for me in adjusting as I found myself becoming angry that there is something really wrong with this process however; it is the process I have chosen along with my guidance team in hopes that I can help assist and make difference for the women of the future.

My evenings with Marilyn continue we talk every night and it is such a gift. Monday when I arrived home from the hospital I had a package from Marilyn. A beautiful oriental box red and black I loved it already. Inside the box was a 2x2 metal of St. Christopher which was Marilyn's mother when she was alive OMG the tears rolled downed my face what an honor received such a gift. She also sent a prayer wheel necklace it is absolutely Divine I was sure what it was exactly as I have never seen anything like it before, stashed on the side was a crisp hundred bill.

OK now it's time to share my phrase 1 art with you enjoy they will be available soon in Giclees limited edition.

Alien Swirl
New technique for me layering with tape was the the second process after I painted the surface. I got the idea one morning while I was doing my legs lifts you never know when inspiration is going ring your door bell.

Light Busters
Now at first sight you may or not see all that is going on. Let's just say my galactic family decided to make their presence known.

Monet's Waterfall
That's the feeling it gave me and still does today when ever I look at it. Right after this I painted my 4Th and final painting until the next session.

As I completed this painting I felt so serene and knew all is well. Many layers, many perceptions, many discoveries along the way. I hope you enjoyed my visions of how life can truly be when we choose to turn and look within. Can you see the Statue of Liberty her face is on the top right hand side about 2.5 inches in

I also received many other physical gifts from a breast cancer Angel Pin from my friend Janiece, to an organic beef tip stew along with many other organic goodies from my friends Valerie and Kevin, to a delicious dinner from my sister Paula and Sonny after the show on Saturday night and oh yes lots of laughs, to my mother showing up on Friday with delicious blue berries and being with me on Monday, to my Friend Marie Rose dedicating her class to me with all proceeds going into my fund.
Cancer is teaching me to ask for help and receive it graciously it is not something I have done in the past it is humbling. I have cried more tears of joy with all the support and people offering to help and just show up. Spirit continues to show me tid bits of the larger picture and why I chose to sign up for this.

So in closing this post if you are on the same journey please send me an email and together we shall continue to shine. If I can give you information about phrase one with all the testing scans etc. please let me know
I Love You
Smiles and Sunshine

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